DANGEROUS FOODS – A CRASH COURSE
Story by Ceilidh Price
With Hallowe’en soon upon us, what’s spookier than ghosts, scarier than a jump-scare and even more daring than a walk through an abandoned mansion at midnight? Perhaps a plate of food that could kill you.
THE WORLD’S MOST DELICIOUSLY DANGEROUS FOODS
This season, instead of carving pumpkins or unwrapping stale mini chocolate bars, why not lean into a real thrill — the kind that tickles your taste buds and your life insurance policy? We’re talking about foods so dangerous they’ve earned real body counts. The forbidden, the exotic, the “maybe don’t Google that while eating” dishes.
Now, we’re not suggesting you go full Indiana Jones and swallow poison-tipped blowfish liver with a side of mystery mushrooms. But should you want to flirt with culinary danger — without actually dying — here’s your spooky-season guide to the world’s deadliest delicacies that (mostly) won’t kill you if you’re eating them right here in good ol’ Alberta.
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FUGU (PUFFERFISH)
These little flippers are the legend of foodie fatality lore.
Fugu is the Beyoncé of dangerous foods — famous, glamorous and you definitely shouldn’t mess with it unless professionals handle it. The pufferfish contains tetrodotoxin, a neurotoxin 1,200 times more deadly than cyanide. But in the hands of a licensed chef? It becomes a delicate sushi experience that screams “YOLO” in the most elegant way possible.
Estimated Deaths Per Year: 0–2 in Japan
Where to Find: Health Canada forbids its import, so you’re not likely to find it in Calgary, or Canada for that matter, unless you really know a guy. The grapevine tell us the closest place to find the little puffer is in the Big Smoke of New York City.
NUTMEG (IN EXCESS)
Turns out, grandma’s spice rack contains a sleeper agent. Nutmeg, in high doses (think tablespoons, not teaspoons), can cause hallucinations, nausea and, in rare cases, death. It’s occasionally abused recreationally, especially by curious teens or bored inmates – but you’re neither of those, so let’s not.
A sprinkle on your pumpkin spice latte? Harmless. Chugging the whole jar? That’s a horror story for another time.
Estimated Deaths Per Year: Rare — isolated cases of overdose
Where to Find: Any grocery store, but let’s not experiment with excess.
SANNAKJI (LIVE OCTOPUS)
This dish is served so fresh it’s technically still moving. The tiny suction cups on the tentacles? Yeah, they can latch onto your throat on the way down and cause choking. Sannakji is a thrilling, squirming experience popular in Korean cuisine.
In Calgary? You might find pre-sliced or lightly stunned versions at specialty Korean spots, but probably not the full live-squiggle experience. (Still, chew like your life depends on it.) Estimated Deaths Per Year: 3–6 in South Korea
Where to Find: While we haven’t found a restaurant that explicitly serves it, live baby octopus is available in the city, and rumour has it that some authentic Korean restaurants will prepare it if asked. We would not recommend.
DEATH CAP MUSHROOM
Looking for a little Russian roulette in a risotto? The Death Cap (Amanita phalloides) looks heartbreakingly similar to some edible mushrooms and is responsible for 90% of mushroom-related deaths worldwide.
Estimated Deaths Per Year: 1–3 in North America from this species alone.
Where to Find: According to the University of Alberta, there are up to 20 poisonous mushroom species in Alberta. The Death Cap, while not Native to Canada, does grow in cities under various species of imported trees, such as beech, hornbeam, chestnut, English oak and has been recently observed growing with native Garry Oak trees. They can occur in any rural and urban environment.
If you’re a weekend forager hiking near Canmore or Bragg Creek, keep your fungi fantasies in check. Best to buy your mushrooms from a certified forager or a reputable store. Because no dinner guest wants to hear, “Guess what I picked behind Safeway.”
ACKEE (UNRIPE)
Ackee is Jamaica’s national fruit, but it comes with a trick-or-treat twist: if you eat it before it’s ripe, your liver taps out and your blood sugar crashes like a toddler after a Halloween party. Thankfully, Health Canada only allows canned ackee, which is processed to be safe and quite tasty — especially in ackee and saltfish, a beloved Caribbean dish.
So go ahead and eat it, but skip the backyard imports and definitely don’t try to smuggle the fresh stuff back from a beach vacation. (Yes, airport security does know what it looks like.)
Estimated Deaths Per Year: Dozens in Jamaica
Where to Find: Caribbean grocers, especially in northeast Calgary — look for canned ackee only.
ESCOLAR (A.K.A. “EX-LAX FISH”)
Escolar is the buttery, smooth fish that looks and tastes deceivingly like high-end tuna. What it really is, though, is nature’s laxative. Rich in wax esters your body can’t digest, it can cause explosive gastrointestinal issues, lovingly referred to as keriorrhea.
You’re not going to die, but you will cancel your plans. If you see “white tuna” on a sushi menu, ask questions. Or maybe don’t — some mysteries are best left unsolved until you’re safely near a washroom.
Estimated Deaths Per Year: 0, but… you’ll wish it had
Where to Find: While we can’t find a place that serves explicitly Escolar, we do know it is available via local seafood restaurant suppliers, so it’s a crap shoot (wink) if you’ll find it. It is sometimes labelled as “super white tuna.”
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FINAL THOUGHTS
If you’re planning a Halloween dinner party, why not lean into this theme? Serve canned ackee crostini, mushroom risotto (with store-bought chanterelles, thank you), and a nutmeg-spiced custard for dessert. Hand out death toll cards with each course, just to keep your guests on their toes. It’s not just food — it’s edible theatre.
And when someone inevitably asks, “Is this safe?” Smile and say, “Probably.”
- while fugu isn’t on the menu, fresh sashimi is about as close as you’re going to get, so try Ryuko | www.ryuko.ca or Fuji Raman and Sushi fujiramenandsushi.com
- Pick your own, but not without extensive education which you can get at the Wild Mushroom Expo that happens each August, hosted by the Alberta Mycological Society albertamushrooms.ca/events
- Want to try the cultural phenomenon of ackee and saltfish without the possibility of imminent death? Try Krazy Jerk | krazyjerkyyc.com
- While sannakji may not be available in Calgary, perhaps a Spicy Stir-Fried Small Octopus and Pork Belly at Namsum Korean Cuisine will tickle your taste buds. | namsancalgary.com
- Craving a little nutmeg kick this fall, your local coffee shop is sure to serve up this earthy treat in bakery confections or coffee or create your own with fresh and fragrant spices from The Spice Merchant | thespicemerchant.ca or The Silk Road Spice Merchant | silkroadspices.ca
Note: There is an item called “Maggot Cheese” but we took it out of the article because it won’t kill you… though we’d rather die than eat it, frankly. Look up Casu Marzu though, if you want to challenge your stomach stamina.
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